Due by pumpkin time on Friday, November 5.
In the comment box below you will post a response (or responses) in which you use close reading to discuss the significance of passages from chapters one, two, and three.
To generate ideas about significance you might think about these questions in relation to the first three chapters:
How does Stephen struggle to figure out who he is in relation to his environment? What are the different aspects of who he is and of his environment that are part of this struggle? Think about family, religion, nationality. How is each significant?
How does the way the story is written -- third person stream of consciousness narration, epiphanies, allusions, images, motifs, syntax, diction -- contribute to how the reader experiences and understands Stephen's process of identity formation?
How is the struggle related to becoming an artist, particularly a language artist? How is the struggle? How is the struggle related to the Daedalus-Icarus myth?
*******
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man online.
Click here to find chapter one with some good notes.
& here you'll find chapter two.
The home page for the enotes version of the book is here. You can use it to click on any of the five chapters or on "Reading Pointers for Sharper Insight" which mentions a lot of the elements -- epiphany, stream of consciousness, Daedalus & Icarus -- that I mentioned last week.
I would like to star off with saying that it is hard in general to follow what happens in the book in general. But there are some themes starting to take shape as the novel moves along and as we we put together the pieces in class. I think that Joyce might be against the catholic church as he portrays a priest severely punishing and humiliating Stephen in front of his class mates for accidently breaking his glasses. Maybe I'm worng. Maybe Joyce is using this priest like Bronte used Brocklehurst in which a person uses an idealogy to abuse power. Another thing is thzt Stephen largely sees himself as an Englishmen. We have hardly ran into any Irish language and even as a child Stephen thinks in English. Never is ther any mention of Irish heritage. It is hard to tell if there any conflicting cultures at all. So these are just a few of my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLike any bildungsroman, Joyce’s “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” chronicles the life of the protagonist, in this case, Stephen. Using his now world famous style of third person consciousness, Joyce weaves a tale of development and discovery, narrating the events, environment, and reflections of Stephen’s life as if it were his own. From the fractured memories of early childhood to the sinful ways of his adolescence, Stephen’s tale serves as a commentary on the social issues and social questions that a great many Irish, and English, citizens faced in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
ReplyDeleteStephen’s recollection of the Dedalus family Christmas dinner presents issues with extreme realism and care for detail; not one aspect of his family life is left untouched. It is a coming of age experience for him, for “it was his first Christmas dinner and he thought of his little brothers and sisters who were waiting in the nursery, as he had often waited, till the pudding came.” Everything was new for him, and the conversation quickly takes a turn for the controversial as his father and his aunt (whom he calls Dante; this admittedly confused me at first, thank God for footnotes) begin to discuss the relationship between religion and politics. “It is religion” Dante repeats, saying that “they (the priests) are right…It is a question of public morality. A priest would not be a priest if he did not tell his flock what is right and what is wrong.” I believe she represents the people Joyce believes have “dull piety” and “evil of hypocrisy”, the people who follow the church and its teachings no matter what the topic. Mr. Dedalus, on the other hand, shows his opinions of the church (specifically the priests), calling them “sons of bitches” and comments on their betrayal of Charles Parnell, saying “when he was down they turned on him to betray him and rend him like rats in a sewer.” Stephen follows the conversation with great interest, but gets lost at the mention of characters or events that are not in his repertoire, such as Kitty O’Shea. Everyone remembers being young and wanting to ask adults “what are you talking about?” or “who is so-and-so?” so that you could feel included in conversation, but being young, we were too afraid, or in Stephen’s case, too preoccupied with our daydreams and inner thoughts to worry ourselves with these conversations. Stephen is at such a point; an insignificant bystander in a heated family debate, and it is relatable. We have all been there.
There is much more going on in Steven’s head in terms of affection and sexuality that he initially lets on. In chapter two, there is much more focus on the body and sexuality, whereas in chapter three, which is about hell, is largely about the soul. But there are connections to be made between both.
ReplyDelete“They would meet quietly as if they had known each other and had made their tryst, perhaps at one of the gates or in some more secret place. They would be alone, surrounded by darkness and silence: and in that moment of supreme tenderness he would be transfigured. He would fade into something impalpable under her eyes and then in a moment, he would be transfigured. Weakness and timidity and inexperience would fall from him in that magic moment.”
Joyce provides a supreme example of skewed adolescent intimacy. As Steven uses Mercedes, a fictional character, to idealize his first intimate encounter, he idealizes both compassion and sexuality. This of course is largely due to his little experience and his need to feel manly, and have a presence. Also for those who have not read The Count of Monte Cristo, Mercedes falls in love with Edmond Dantes, the male protagonist. After he is sent to jail, she marries his best friend. So why Mercedes, who is so pious or pure as Steven initially idealizes intimacy.
There is also the looming use of darkness and color, as they would be “surrounded by darkness”. In terms of religion, God, in and out of the novel is largely associated with light. Steven relates a romantic and adolescently defining moment to elements of the dark or evil.
To be transfigured is to be “elevated or idealize, in allusion to Christ's transfiguration” (WordNet). Steven reiterates that he would be “transfigured” through an intimate encounter with Mercedes. Joyce purposely continues to distort not only Steven’s view of sexuality, but also cross references a sexual experience to a divine encounter, as Christ was transfigured and resurrected.
I would also like to touch on Ethan’s comment, though there hasn’t been much mention of Ireland, think back to the dinner table argument in chapter one and Mr. Casey who speaks of a “free Ireland”. Also, try to recollect on where Ireland was politically at the time. This might help further your understanding of the political and cultural confusion of time and as you read further.
There is much more going on in Steven’s head in terms of affection and sexuality that he initially lets on. In chapter two, there is much more focus on the body and sexuality, whereas in chapter three, which is about hell, is largely about the soul. But there are connections to be made between both.
ReplyDelete“They would meet quietly as if they had known each other and had made their tryst, perhaps at one of the gates or in some more secret place. They would be alone, surrounded by darkness and silence: and in that moment of supreme tenderness he would be transfigured. He would fade into something impalpable under her eyes and then in a moment, he would be transfigured. Weakness and timidity and inexperience would fall from him in that magic moment.”
Joyce provides a supreme example of skewed adolescent intimacy. As Steven uses Mercedes, a fictional character, to idealize his first intimate encounter, he idealizes both compassion and sexuality. This of course is largely due to his little experience and his need to feel manly, and have a presence. Also for those who have not read The Count of Monte Cristo, Mercedes falls in love with Edmond Dantes, the male protagonist. After he is sent to jail, she marries his best friend. So why Mercedes, who is so pious or pure as Steven initially idealizes intimacy.
There is also the looming use of darkness and color, as they would be “surrounded by darkness”. In terms of religion, God, in and out of the novel is largely associated with light. Steven relates a romantic and adolescently defining moment to elements of the dark or evil.
continued..
ReplyDeleteTo be transfigured is to be “elevated or idealize, in allusion to Christ's transfiguration” (WordNet). Steven reiterates that he would be “transfigured” through an intimate encounter with Mercedes. Joyce purposely continues to distort not only Steven’s view of sexuality, but also cross references a sexual experience to a divine encounter, as Christ was transfigured and resurrected.
I would also like to touch on Ethan’s comment, though there hasn’t been much mention of Ireland, think back to the dinner table argument in chapter one and Mr. Casey who speaks of a “free Ireland”. Also, try to recollect on where Ireland was politically at the time. This might help further your understanding of the political and cultural confusion of time and as you read further.
Throughout the first three chapters we see how Stephen’s character acts within his environments and how his identity has developed from his surrounding influence. We see his innocence, timidness, and inexperience at the beginning and throughout the chapters and his reactions and feelings to this are frustrating to him. We see his recognition of his own identity start to form at the end of chapter one and then is lost again in chapter two. I believe Andrew Mizzoni brought up this change in identity in that stephen lacks confidence and then gains it when he goes to the rector at the end of chapter one. We see this search for himself again in chapter two when he discovers sex and his inability to recognize what it is and what to do about it. This role of the devil he likes to play ends up forming another identity but then in chapter three he then changes his ideas again. He then recognizes himself as the devil and is terrified for his sins and that his devilish acts will surely send him to hell.
ReplyDeleteRight from the beginning we can see that Stephen is comparing himself to his environment and discovering his surroundings. One quote we analyzed explains this feeling Stephen has that he does not understand the things around him yet he is determined to; “It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant and that he did not know where the universe ended. he felt small and week...” (13) He compares himself to the universe because he feels small to this big concept that he can not understand; “It was very big to think about everything and everywhere. Only God can do that.” He is trying to connect to really big understandings and is almost comparing himself to god which he is so far from understanding. He is so young and lacks so much experience at this time and we see this develop and aggravate him throughout the chapters.
Stephen sometimes understands his situation yet can not act or understand himself as himself . This separation of his mind and his body as if they are two people is seen towards the end of chapter one; “...pressing his beaten hands...made him feel sorry for them as if they were not his own but someone else’s that he felt sorry for.” He felt sorry for his body because he in his mind could not speak up, the situation was out of his control. He is so driven to understand his environment that in order to understand the feelings he should feel, he makes his hands and body the environment, something that is not his anymore but that he can judge from the outside. This identity of himself that he is trying to understand is almost being created by him from making himself the environment then then by judging the environment he can understand himself.
ReplyDeleteIn chapter two he himself physically he does not understand, then he discovers sex and becomes what he once did not understand. We see this “...hope of then and now, of the holy encounter he had then imagined at which weakness and timidity and inexperience were to fall from him.” (87) This inexperience and uncomfortableness he has with his environment is so frustrating to him that he becomes the things he does not understand. He becomes active in his surroundings and this physical need for love that is troubling him becomes so curious and attractive which leads to a sexual relation with a women. He becomes the environment he did not understand and now judges himself on these sins that he wanted to make himself out of. He made himself into an uncomfortable environment that he felt more comfortable with. He judges himself in chapter three on what he has made himself and sees himself as the devil and feels he deserves punishment from god. This relates to our in-class discussion when we talked about how Stephen and how he felt more comfortable with being uncomfortable and with punishment and self punishment. This was discovered when Stephen said a awful smell actually comforted him; “That horse piss and rotted straw, he thought. It is a good odour to breathe.” (76) He wants to make himself uncomfortable and submerged into his environment so he can figure out what is good or bad in the environment by judging if he is bad or good. He can judge himself and he creates his identity by trying figure out his environment through looking at himself after becoming the environment.
Evan Kidder
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James Joyce uses his ingenious stream of conscious writing style to truely create a world that is seen through the eyes of the protagonist. From the thoughts i feel like we are able to understand the character more. We find that certain memories are invoked by actions and the environment.
Sexuality is another thing that makes Stephen fall, (Icarus). He fantasises about Mercedes and what it would be like to have a women. He is very distraut over these new feelings that are surging up inside his mind. He has been braught up with strict catholic surroundings so he feels as if his thoughts are sins, So why should his actions not be too? He decides to get a prostitute and his description of it was as if he was talking, talking pertains to taking action.
From very early we see that words are very important to Stephen, It is like they are the only thing that is tangible in a world in which he has no idea how to act upon. He uses words to show something about the world, as a reaction. We see this very early when stephen gets in trouble for playing with eileen and saying that he would marry her. he weaves together a poem in his concious mind about the things Dante said to him.
Scenary plays a big role in the development of the book. I've noticed that everyday lif for Stephen is described as "grey", But yet when he is writing and talking about thoughts such as "The house in which another Mercedes lived", the colors become more vivid. We can almost picture the dlicate red roses and the white washed house, White washed house also pertains the whole "Tower of Ivory" spiel.
ReplyDeleteBefore I begin it must be known; I know next to nothing about religion. I am open to the idea but just uninformed. That being said, I can move on. Chapter 3 speaks volumes about religion, and I think that part of it pertains to what Ethan said about Catholicism. For much of that story/sermon delivered by the priest, I felt as though I was hearing some Jonathan Edwards "fire and brimstone" speech. Those quotes are brutal! Ethan said that Joyce may be be critiquing Catholicism, by possibly using "an ideology to abuse power". You know, I might partially agree with you here. There are countless times when Stephen ponders about the magnificent power of god, and during this sermon in the third chapter, I developed the feeling that religion was wickedly stringent and maybe cruel. You are stuck with what you do during your "earthy" time for all of eternity (that simulation of eternity with the bird and sand was pretty cool). This relates to Stephen's years at his strict Jesuit school, as well as how much of the spars that have been circling around Stephen have sprouted from religion (the X-mas dinner). I thought that sermon was kind of cool in that, while I was reading, I pictured an interchangeable speaker. I believe that speech could just as much have been Stephen's thoughts as it was the priest's words. I mean, this is at a point where Stephen feels like dirt. He is to himself, inhuman and destined for Hell. He once again relives his funeral. "the state of a beast that licks his chaps after meat." In his eyes, he’s an animal, as he capitulated to commit a beast’s actions, the prostitute. During the sermon, the story of Adam & Eve is told, in a way that I could see Stephen telling it. Just as Stephen is to himself, the sermon tears sinners and the idea of committing a sin without repenting, to shreds. For the first time, Stephen is being extremely hard on himself. Guilt, which arose from his actions and the morals taught to him during his upbringing, is the cause of this self hatred. From this, one could argue that it is his strict Catholic upbringing that has allowed him to feel in such a way. Once again, I not saying that any of this is concrete, just threads of ideas. Anyways, Stephen absconds from this depression in a matter of minutes. Just compare his descriptions before his confession to the beautiful muddy streets that he skips along soon after. How many more exclamation points are there after this shift than before? His “sluggish”, “filthy” sins just “ooze” out of his mouth, like worms. Though I haven’t amassed much meaning of this image, I do think that it is important. His body acted as a temple for evil. The fact that his temple can be so easily restored tells me that religion is his refuge. I think that it is acting as both a trap and a refuge for Stephen.
ReplyDeleteA slightly different point: besides god there are others who wield a tremendous amount of power. Something that I noticed fairly quickly early on was the power of the school prefects. Students obey all of their commands and they’re usually depicted as voices that float across the playgrounds, adding a celestial feel. Indeed, Stephen views almost everything with tremendous respect, whether it be faculty, Wells, or his parents. Just like when we discussed Alea’s quote yesterday, about Stephen’s importance compared to his universe, Stephen is largely minuscule, which is ironic as this is a novel in BILLDUNGS ROMAN form all about Stephen. Stephen is just a grain of sand when compared to his religion, but the point of focus in the novel is sporadic. The narrator is either focused on Stephen himself and his development or the vast universe that he lives within and the unanswerable questions that haunt every being.
I think that flight and falling is one of the most important motifs in the book thus far. There are many points in chapter 1,2, and 3 where he mentions falling. In chapter 3, during the retreat, the priest talks a lot about the devil and hell where he says, “Lucifer, we are told, was a son of the morning, a radiant and mighty angel; yet he fell: he fell and there fell with him a third part of the host of heaven: he fell and was hurled with his rebellious angels into hell.” He also later states that Adam and Eve “fell” when they ate the forbidden fruit after being persuaded by the Lucifer. By having falling associated with the devil, I wonder if Joyce is trying to connect falling with Satan. If you think about it, if you go to hell you fall, not rise. Satan fell from heaven to hell and he also made Adam and Eve fall. Is Joyce trying to say that Stephen falling is because he sinned?
ReplyDeleteAnother place that falling is mentioned is at he end of each chapter. Each chapter ends will something having to do with falling or rising. This all has to do with the idea of the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus, where after being trapped in Crete, Daedalus creates a set of wings and escapes successfully, where his son Icarus flies too close to the sun which causes his wings to melt and he falls to his death. (This also makes me wonder, if Joyce names Steven after Daedalus, who was successful compared to his brother, does that mean the Stephen will be successful in the end? I guess we’ll wait and see…).
The motif flight also is seen through the motif of birds. We see this in the first few pages of the book when Stephen creates the song about eagles poking out his eyes. We also see it in Heron, “He had often thought it strange that Vincent Heron had a bird's face as well as a bird's name.” This motif of flight is important in tracking when Stephen is emotionally on top or if he is falling.
Something that I also think is important is what Mr Cook calls indexing, where you notice the common words or phrases used and asking yourself what the significance of the repetition might be. Something I noticed in chapter 3 was when the preist was talking about Satan and he said, “Theologians consider that it was the sin of pride, the sinful thought conceived in an instant: non serviam: I will not serve.” Upon reading this in the chapter, I instantly thought about the end of chapter one where Stephen says that he will be obedient to Father Dolan. I wondered what connection or parallel or foil was being made with this statement. I have also noticed a repeat of “stars”. I’m not sure about what significance that would have but I’m going to keep looking for it and thinking about it.
Sean Dixon
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Well right now I’m disappointed I couldn’t find my book of Greek mythology, and so I had to settle with following the link on the blog. I was left a bit unsatisfied, and found another version. http://thanasis.com/icarus.htm Here is a summary for those of you yet to read the myth. Daedalus was an inventor that had previously killed his nephew, who was also his apprentice and “displayed a skill that nearly rivaled his mentor's.” He avoided punishment by escaping to Crete. On the island he worked for King Minos, building a wooden “moocow” for the queen to experience a sexual fantasy. This resulted in the minotaur being born, and led Daedalus to invent the famous maze. Eventually, a hero traveled to Crete, slayed the minotaur, and left with Minos’ daughter. Enraged Minos entrapped Daedalus along with his son within the maze. They escaped the maze, and attempted to flee the island by building wings. And you obviously know what happens once they take flight.
Joyce uses more than just the Daedalus’ tale of the flight in “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.” Stephen, like the queen and Daedalus, has sexual urges and sins with the prostitute; he comes to regret these sins. Stephen’s attempt to fly and escape the oppressive Dublin environment is hindered by his adolescent urges. He falls to these urges and loses a part of himself just as Daedalus loses his son.
Aside from Stephen’s name, Joyce uses a motif of birds to comment on Stephen’s idenity in his environment. We touched upon the first instance of this motif in class. “—O, if not, the eagles will come and pull out his eyes.” (g&w ed., 4) If Stephen does not follow Irish society’s cultural/religious boundaries, then he will suffer the consequences. Joyce also merges the image of a bird into a football to establish Stephen’s position in his environment. “…the greasy leather orb flew like a heavy bird through the grey light.” (4) This line is later repeated: “…creeping from point to point on the fringe of his line, a heavy bird flying low through the grey light.” (18) This repetition serves to establish Stephen as a flightless bird, because alienation from his environment prevents him from following his own course of flight. Stephen is thrashed around, like a football, by a society that does not accept him. Joyce also relates Heron’s appearance to that of a bird’s. “…His rival’s flushed and mobile face, beaked like a bird’s. He had often thought it strange that Vincent Heron had a bird’s face as well as a bird’s name.” (66) I believe Joyce does this because Stephen is in a way jealous of his rival’s freedom. It seems to me that Heron is free in Stephen’s eyes because the two have conflicting beliefs concerning Ireland’s society. Heron’s are in line with the society, while Stephen’s are not. This leads Joyce to once again summon up the image of a flightless bird. “Nash pinioned his arms behind… Struggling and kicking under the cuts of the cane and the blows of the knotty stump Stephen was borne back against a barbed wire fence.” (71) Stephen’s beliefs are seen as heretical in his society, and so he is bound to escape Ireland to a country, where he can be free in his beliefs.
In the class discussion today we discussed mostly the end of chapter two, and how Joyce uses techniques to reveal insights about Stephan Dedalus and about themes of the book itself. We discussed the fall of Stephan after overindulging himself and spending all his money trying to give the family lush gifts. He describes his impulses as a tide, hopeless to stop; just water overpowering a “barrier” his own attempts to control his passion. This seemed to be really similar to the conflict in Jane Eyre, control against passion. In the following paragraphs you can find even more similarities showing Stephan’s fear of his own passions. As a young man still going through puberty perhaps, he is starting to feel urges and desires that scare him, he believes them to be rogue and wants to restrict them. He fears these urges, “wasting fires of lust…his blood was in revolt” his blood was in revolt, his body was telling him one thing and it seems his mind another. It is clear that Stephan believes these feelings to be animalistic and crude just like in Jane Eyre how Bertha’s passions were animalistic; Joyce describes him as a “prowling beast”. Obviously Stephan is working hard to suppress this beast, because the cry he released had been “strangled for so long in his throat”. Although it is early in the book Stephan clearly is struggling with finding his identity as a man, as he becomes more mature and grows out of boyhood. Also, at the end of his experience with the prostitute an interesting motif of odor is brought up. Several times odor has calmed Stephan down from unrest like when he quickly exited the theatre and smelled “Horse piss and rotted straw” this odor calms him down, takes him out of his fever. Just like this instance, Stephan mentions that “between them he felt an unknown and timid pressure, darker than the swoon of sin, softer than sound or odor”. In this quote he is talking about the prostitute’s lips, I believe he is expressing the feeling of satisfaction and relief he feels after giving in to the beast inside him.
ReplyDeleteLike many other books we’ve read this year A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man depicts the story of a character who is searching for his identity. As we mentioned briefly in class, Stephen seems to be a boy who ultimately wants to be a man. He tries to achieve a level of maturity that is unheard of for a boy of his age and we see this when Stephen is around the other boys at his school or when his family talks politics around him. Stephen finds it hard to relate with any of the boys at his school and he never seems to have a response when it comes to talking to them. He’s always out of place and can never really see where they’re coming from. The way I saw this was that Stephen was just too far ahead of these other boys when it came to maturity. The boys at his school were the epitome of young boys who like to play sports, joke around and taunt one another, but at the same time Stephen is so far beyond this that he doesn’t even get their humor. When Stephen listens to Mr. Casey and Dante argue about Parnell and God he tries to understand what their conversation means, but in the end he can’t rap his head around the details. In this situation Stephen is on a completely different end of the spectrum, meaning that the conversation is way beyond him. This frustrates Stephen and he racks his brain to try to make sense of all of it because he wants nothing more than to be an adult, but he’s just too stubborn to wait for it to come to him.
ReplyDeleteConversely though, when Stephen does get older and more mature it’s almost as if he can’t handle that aspect of life either. When he gets involved with prostitutes and more adult behavior, I perceived it as Stephen trying to force maturity upon himself instead of having to wait for it. Once he does get involved though he realizes the sinfulness of it all and this drives him crazy as well. He wonders, if this is not the way to do it, then how else can he become an adult quickly and surely? All of his thoughts are at all times somehow wrapped around the subject and whether he’s not mature enough or too mature for his likings Stephen can never be happy. He is searching for an in between and is struggling to find it throughout the novel and in the meantime he is very confused about himself and his own identity. Like in the other novels we’ve read I don’t think Stephen will truly know himself or be comfortable with his own being until he comes to terms with that fact that he can’t control the slow plight into adulthood and that he’ll just have to wait if he really wants it.
In the first three chapters of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Stephen seems to be on an emotional and physical roller coaster. As the plot swings rather quickly from low to high, we cannot help but pick up the flight and fall of the protagonist and through that, Joyce's reference to the myth of Daedalus and Icarus. To piggy-back on Emily C's idea about falling being a major theme, I think that we can contrast falling to periods of Stephen's “flight” in the novel.
ReplyDeleteStephens first event of great importance was his standing up to the rector. “He told them what he had said and what the rector had said and, when he had told them, all the fellows flung their caps spinning into the air” (brown book 51). However, although his classmates clearly see this as a great feat, Stephen is happier to celebrate his action inwardly which we see throughout the next few chapters.
Unfortunately after this flight Stephen falls and develops an obsession with Mercedes, a character from the Counte of Monte Christo. Quickly though Stephen “flies again” and wins prize money which he then squanders leading to another fall “He had tried to build a breakwater of order and elegance against the sordid tide of life without him and to dam up, by rules of conduct and active interests and new filial relations, the powerful recurrence of the tide within him. Useless” (86).
At this point, it is starting to seem like the rise and fall pattern is becoming inevitable. Sure enough, we see this continued when Stephen develops what the priest calls a “bad habit” and starts frequently visiting prostitutes. However, another rise is soon after when Stephen confesses all of his sins and feels absolved.
Although all of his flights seem very important to Stephen, I seems to me like more pseudo-heroism. He isn't doing anything particularly noteworthy, in fact the actions that he commits take no more extra courage or bravery than the average person possess. To Stephen though, they serve to lift him up both socially and emotionally. I think this speaks a lot about his development as an artist. He is urged on by small conquests and is content with small gestures. Much of what makes up a good story is detail and through Stephen's clear sensitivity it is obvious that he possess the skill of close observation.
To touch upon something we talked about today in A-block, Stephen (like almost all artists) struggles between his imagination and reality. Through his reactions to the play in which he preforms readers can see that although he enjoyed acting he was not fully satisfied. The image that he held in his mind was not upheld by the reality of the situation and maybe we can also apply this to the periods of flight in his life.
The small accomplishments such as standing up to the rector or confessing are more valuable to Stephen because they bring him nearer to the image he has in his mind. Planted by devote members of the church such as Dante and the Rector, Stephen holds himself to the strict standards of the Church. Of course, his religion sets the bar ridiculously high and expects followers to jump for it which is exactly what Stephen finds himself doing. But how is he supposed to uphold the expectations of the Church and develop himself as an artist? Perhaps the visions placed in his mind by the Rector are holding him back instead of nurturing his development. When he has such strict rules to live by and such a distinct aim it becomes hard to grow naturally and Stephen finds himself struggling between the two. He has not had a clear model of how to treat women or even how to think of them and so he ends up turning to prostitutes to release feelings that he cannot explain. Maybe later in the book we will see hm express his emotions through other channels and develop more securely as an artist.
Kelly Benson
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Pg.26- “He thought of his own father, of how he sang songs while his mother played and how he always gave a shilling when he asked for sixpence and he felt sorry for him that he was not a magistrate like the other boys’ fathers.”
To me, I found that this quote is something that sums up everything about what Stephan is up against, and it’s only in the first chapter! Yes he is a young boy with obviously many questions, changes, and concerns, but there is one that he can’t ever change and it’s almost driving him insane. As we discussed in class, we know that Stephan is not so much a regular “boy” that likes to play games and joke about nonsense, but rather a very intellectual boy who is always curious about what others think of him and if he can change his image to fit to everyone’s ideal model. In a place like Ireland, it’s all about you social status and who your family is, because that is what you will become. Poor Stephan has a dilemma, because no matter how much he looks up to his dad, he just can’t show appreciation because he isn’t the perfect dad prototype that the other boys tell him he should be.
Another point that this quote does a good job in highlighting is that fact that Stephan gives in to temptations and urges. At the end of chapter two it mentions how Stephan has a “beast” inside of him that he can’t tame himself. To me, I see that all around Stephan there are beasts that he can’t ignore because he easily gives into them. Instead of loving his father because he makes him happy, he can’t because the other boys think less of him, and he can’t admit to kissing his mother because the other boys think it’s weird, and he can’t turn down the prostitute because he thinks that she can solve any urges he is having because she indicates that she can. Unfortunately he is easily molded by what others say to him, and this leads him to forget where his morals are.
Michelle Rogers
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Throughout the first three chapters of a Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, we learn that Stephen is constantly trying to find his true identity and fit in with his peers. He is insecure as he is growing up. We see many instances of Stephen questioning his identity throughout the first three chapters. One of these instances is when the boys at Clongowes are asking him if he kisses his mother. Stephen realizes that there is no correct answer to this puzzling question and feels that either answer will be displeasing to them so he struggles to answer it. Stephen struggles to find his indentify and to fit in with the other boys. He considers himself much more mature then them and does not want the same things as them. He realizes this when he is at a bar with his father, Simon, who is reliving all his adolescent memories and the bartender is talking about how Simon was considered a big flirt. Stephen then realizes that his intentions are not he same as his father were at his age. “He had known neither the pleasure of companionship with others nor the vigour of rude male health nor filial piety (pg. 96)”. With this quote we realize how different Stephen and his father really are, and why he struggles to relate to him. Another instance where we see that Stephen is truly trying to discover his identity and where he belongs in life is when he says the quote “It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant…that was very far away.”(pg.17). While this quote is indeed a foreshadowing as to what is to come in a Christmas dinner political fight between Stephen’s family, it also shows us a way in which Stephen is simply unsure on who he is supposed to be in his life. He does not know which side of his family he should side with in the political battle that is dividing Ireland and he doesn’t feel that he is informed enough to make that decision. He also considers himself inadequate and unintelligent compared to others, especially great scholars. He sees the future as too far away and is uncertain of who he will become. Stephen is confused about the universe in general and his relationship to it. The fact that Stephen lacks general life experience at his young age, may also lead to his struggles in trying to discover his identity and where he will fit in in the big universe.
Tom M.
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As Stephen states, “It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant and that he did not know where the universe ended. He felt small and weak.” (pg. 17) it is clear to see how Stephen truly sees himself in his environment, which is capable of translating into how he feels about himself in a general sense. When we discussed the significance of this quote in class, it really got me thinking how easy it is to make a connection with Stephen’s observations and confessions. Yes, the text at times can be complicated to follow with the stream of consciousness and regular shifts in storyline, but overall, the meanings behind much of the novel’s meaningful statements are evident.
Stephen just wants to be accepted and felt as an equal. He knows he does not know much about life and his surroundings, but he knows that he is worth being noticed for what he does know, his strengths and talents, as well as his true potential. I know that time and time again, I have felt inadequate due to the actions of people who think they are of higher value than me, and to be honest, it’s a pretty terrible feeling to experience, and a false one as that. For in most societies, as it should be in all, we all are considered equals to one another. Just because Stephen doesn’t understand politics does not mean that he should feel “small and weak”. It’s simply not worth it. Also, it is nearly impossible for Stephen to know where the universe ends, illuminating the fact that there are a myriad of unknowable points of information to be held by Stephen. The bright side to this, is that Stephen is capable of being content in living in darkness, that is, not knowing something. He just doesn’t know it yet, therefore he feels of lesser value.
Stephen must first understand that he is just as good as the next person and capable of such great potential if his feelings of worthlessness are ever to disintegrate. Hopefully, Stephen will be able to come to terms with this soon, as it is a vitally important lesson he needs to learn. He most likely will develop his strengths in these areas throughout the remainder of the novel, as this statement is merely said in Chapter 1. As soon as he encounters more experiences, the repetition of degraded feelings will allow him to come to the realization that he deserves better treatment. Or maybe Stephen will follow a route of trying to catch up on the information, study hard, and be able to understand “politics” or “trigonometry”, so that he can say to his oppressors that he really is just as smart as them with having more socially acceptable evidence rather than feelings of rightful equality. While I personally prefer the latter route for him to take, anything is possible.
Arica Aiello
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“I am Stephen Dedalus. I am walking beside my father whose name is Simon Dedalus. We are in Cork, Ireland.” Pg 92. Here, Stephen is reminding himself that he is a real person, with a name and a setting at the current time. At this point in chapter two he is embarrassed by his father, so he is reminding himself that he is his own person, and not the person that his father is. Stephen’s main focus in the first three chapters is his identity. He realizes that he is unique, in his way of thinking and reacting to situations.
So from this a few questions came to mind… How does his father’s sexual background influence Stephen’s own sexual identity? Is it the reason he goes in search of sexual pleasure and desire? Is it his lack of exposure to female characters? Growing up he saw woman as a different species, in a way. He sees their physical attributes but does not see them as individuals and as free thinkers the way he sees men. To him, women are unapproachable, which may be one of the reasons his sexual desires are so strong and confusing to him, because he never learned about woman growing up. The way that his father presents himself must also have a strong influence on the way that Stephen sees women, and his continuous questionable sexual identity, and could also be the reason for his incident at the end of chapter two. (enough said)
What does his questioning of identity say about him? It insinuates a higher maturity level than that of his peers. There is something about Stephen that is different, but we haven’t quite figured out what it is yet. His way of thinking is unique to his own being. We have an idea that his thoughts are different because he is very creative, mostly from the title A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man we know he will be an artist, but also through his poetry and thought process that we see firsthand through the narrator.
Alea Capello
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Often times in novels, characters are developed through the effects of the plot, and their reactions to them. As readers of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, we are very fortunate, because the protagonists’ characterization is clearly displayed through his thoughts. We have direct insight to what is going inside Stephen’s head because of the third person stream of consciousness that Joyce write’s with. Stephen’s experience with the world around him is easily noticed because we almost are looking at the world through his eyes.
I agree with Megan’s idea of Stephen being “out of place” in his environment. As she said, the other boys his age are a world apart from Stephen with maturity level. This unfortunately alienates Stephen, causing a constant personal struggle for him. He wishes to understand why his peers do what they do, and say what they say. It is difficult for Stephen to comprehend his peers when his family and his religion are forcing him to act as an adult. A moment in the novel where Stephen’s confusion is apparent is when he is pandied in front of his entire class unjustly. “It was wrong; it was unfair and cruel: and, as he sat in the refectory, he suffered time after time in memory the same humiliation until he began to wonder whether it might not really be that there was something in his face which made him look like a schemer and he wished he had a little mirror to see.” (Joyce 46). The punishment was almost unbelievable to Stephen, because he expected to be treated like an adult. Punishment should only come when one has done something wrong, and Stephen knew he did not do anything wrong. This mistreatment would cause any child confusion, and it caused him to take action. This also connects to the Christmas dinner argument. Should Stephen accept his punishment because it was given to him by a figure of the church? Must he always listen to Father Dolan, even though he is unjustly punishing him? This scene and the following decision that Stephen makes gives a little insight as to what Stephen thinks of the argument.
Another inner struggle that I picked up on in chapter two is the conflict of sexuality. Stephen does not know if it is acceptable to feel how he feels and to fantasize about woman, such as Mercedes. Freedom of expression of sexuality is almost forbidden by the church, so naturally, Stephen would feel as if he is stained when he feel’s curiosity for a woman’s love. “He burned to appease the fierce longings of his heart before which everything else was idle and alien… Beside the savage desire within him to realize the enormities which he brooded on nothing was sacred” (87). Stephen felt pressure from his environment to tap into his physical feelings. His father had been a flirt, and girls haunted him more and more. Stephen’s curiosity and lack of understanding of his feeling forced him to make a decision between his “fierce longings” and his religion.
Andrew Mizzoni
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To begin my discussion I would like to state that upon completion of the three chapters I am surely convinced in the similarities that exist between Jane Eyre and A Portrait. Stephen struggles with the same problems that Jane faces in her discovery of her identity orphaned from society. Although Stephen is not an orphan Joyce portrays him as an orphan to the outside world. Stephen’s struggles to discover himself evolve differently over the course of the three chapters. In class I discussed a possible trend that exists in the book between finding identity and the pattern it follows throughout the chapters. I believe that over the course of the chapters Stephen slowly begins to form some sort of identity in an uneven pattern. Throughout the chapter Joyce shows Stephen moving himself forward along with one step backwards. This thesis can be proven in the first chapter on pg 8 with the quote, “ they were Eileen’s father and mother. When they were grown up he was going to marry Eileen. He his under the table his mother said. O, Stephen will apologize….If not the eagle will come and pull out his eyes.” Upon reading this opening passage you can conclude that Stephen is a frightened boy who is constantly threatened and scorned what to do. Later in the chapter however you can see growth within Stephen in his confidence to approach the rector about the mistreatment he endured regarding his glasses. It can be argued that it was not a huge growth because his classmates convinced him to do it and it was no initially his decision. Stephens fall in chapter two exists with the girl E.C. His lack of confidence and family struggle depends him into an ocean like current. As a teenager at a new college he must have lost some confidence however his discussion with Heron outside shows more his confidence and identity. The chapter deals a lot with lust and a teenagers struggle to deal with it. As a teenager you find yourself dabbling in love and in order to succeed one must obtain experience. I feel that chapter two deals a lot with his self-identity sexually. Stephens desires come from his lack of will to make a move. He knows that he is timid and afraid of everything in the world and his lust for sin and sex overcomes him. The teenager mentality to rebel overcomes Stephen leaving him to vague thoughts do not make sense from his inexperience. The final pages of chapter two set up the problems Stephen deals with in chapter three. Stephens sheltered and timid behavior as a young teenager has led him to a life of rebellion and sin. His desires to sin have overcome his ability to distinguish right from wrong. Stephen is not struggling with himself in chapter three but struggling with the devil. A character that many teenagers face over the couse of their maturation.
On Thursday, during the discussion that Michelle led, Ellie said that Stephen just lacks experience, and that he can’t be expected to know it all. You made a point, Ellie, that Stephen is tied to other people for views and knowledge, which is interesting in light of his separation at the same time from those around him. But how much does experience solve his problems? To have experience without understanding does not always lead someone to understand, and what understanding one gets does not necessarily bring happiness. Perhaps this is due to a necessary level of one experience before having another. To put the words into examples, ideas into events, I’ll draw to attention the end of chapter 2, leading into chapter 3. By finding an outlet for his sexual desire, Stephen neither establishes a connection with those around him, nor does he find inspiration for expression and exploration. Rather, he harbors a “contempt of his fellows.” While “towards others he felt neither shame nor fear,” “He stooped to the evil of hypocrisy with others, sceptical of their innocence which he could cajole so easily.” (91-92). As in the first two chapters of the book, he does not relate to others. As for his view of himself, “The chaos in which his ardour extinguished itself was a cold indifferent knowledge of himself.” He chooses to accept himself as one with a “great pride in his own sin,” beyond salvation – at least at first.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of Mac’s analysis that Stephen’s identity comes from a self-perception after he “becomes the environment,” and that this is whence his understanding comes. I wonder when is the point that one loses some of one’s identity in taking on one’s environment. Perhaps this can work for Stephen because he does lack a good amount of knowledge and experience, and feeling already a sense of isolation, he does not have much to sacrifice – until one considers that as a developing artist he temporarily loses his poetry.
Jacklyn L.
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“No God for Ireland!...The door slammed behind her.” (34. Brown book)
I found that it was very interesting for Stephen’s father to say this. Is Stephen’s father part of the magistrate, so doesn’t he belong to the church? Then reading later into the chapter and into the next chapter I began to think that maybe this quote had to do with the freedom of Ireland away from England. Therefore becoming that God is not actually God, but more the Church of Ireland after the death of Parnell. This makes it clear that Dante must be a staunch supporter of the king due to her reaction when Stephen’s father says this. This is why Stephen does not know whose side to take because he knows that they believe in the ultimate God, but he is unsure of his own view of the church. The idea is that the father believes that national identity is more important than religious identity, while Dante believes the opposite. This is because as a kid this does not as largely affect him. It also states early in the chapter that Stephen does not know what politics are and therefore he would not be able to make a big decision such as this. The napkin ring I feel shows Stephen’s emotions. This is because he is always pushed around and then his emotions seem to roll as he tries to accept and take in everything around him.
“But when he had sung his song and withdrawn...searching, exciting his heart.” (59)
ReplyDeleteThis quote is interesting due to the fact that this is the first time he brings up the idea of enjoying his loneliness. The idea that he can be so withdrawn into himself is fascinating, the idea that he is willingly alienating himself which is so different from Bronte’s Jane. Also this statement is later a rejected idea at the end of the chapter because he seeks not companionship, but a has a physical desire for ladies of the night. Then there is the idea of his song meaning nothing to him anymore. Which in effect is foreshadowing the idea of him not caring about his body or his mortal sins during this chapter. The “feverish agitation” also is foreshadowing because he gets and almost fever due to the amount of worrying he does over his mortal sins in chapter three. This also shows that Stephen is still confused because though he is alone his heart becomes excited with the music so it is like the music has become a companion to him.
“He came down the aisle of the chapel, legs shaking and the scalp of his head trembling as though it had been touched by ghostly fingers...headlong through space.” (109)
Stephen’s legs are shaking because he knows the sins he committed and he knows that God is ashamed by the sins he committed. However Stephen can not feel fully ashamed of all the sins he committed even though he thinks everything is judging him and he knows that he did wrong. The ghostly fingers most likely represent his guilt rising to its peak because he has entered somewheres scared in this case the church. The jackets are most likely physical representations of the spirits that Stephen feels watch his every move and judge him on a daily basis. It is in the church that they can take any physical form and they take the form of the coat to appear less threatening so that Stephen will guilt himself so much into committing his sins which he does at the end of the chapter. The idea of him thinking he had already die is due to the fact that his sins are figuratively eating him alive because he cannot function during the day due to the guilt he feels over the sin. At the end Stephen is plunging into the unknown because he knows not what he will do or the consequences of his actions and space is used because everything about space is unknown.
Though it can be quite confusing at times, if read thoroughly and carefully, the stream of consciousness James Joyce uses in his style of writing displays a character that I’m sure we all can relate too. And yet personally, I’m still not quite sure of what I think about the main character, Stephen. In the first three chapters we have discussed in class, we can already see a great deal of whom Stephen is and what he wants. Or, for a lack of a better term, what he “thinks” he wants for it seems that he very well doesn’t know what he wants.
ReplyDeleteWe learn that he is constantly struggling to find his true identity and trying to fit in. I like what Andrew said, how many similarities can be drawn from this novel and Jane Eyre; for I completely agree. Stephen, like Jane has been struggling to find his purpose in life. However, the situations in which he is put into often make him question his identity Like Michelle said, a prominent event of this takes place at Clongowes. The boys are asking him if he kisses his mother or not and to Stephen, he is not sure what the right answer is. If he answers yes or no either way, the boys will automatically react negatively towards Stephen which will increase his discomfort with himself and his position is his environment.
Like I mentioned in the beginning I’m sure that all of us can relate to this particular situation that Stephen has gone through. Many times we constantly doubt ourselves and our worth. We all struggle to try and say and do the right things in hopes of being recognized for it and accepted for it. Everyone wants to fit in knowing that their true identity or true self won’t be shut down. In Stephen’s case he let the pressure of his peers get the best of him. I’m sure that aside from what we have already seen, this kind of situation will occur many more times in the chapters to come.
From a very young age Stephen sets himself apart from other boys of his age and the world around him with his unique way of thinking and viewing the world. He spends most of his young life and receives all of his education at an all boys college, so he is naturally sheltered from many aspects of the world and forced to draw his own conclusions about them. He is extremely analytical and ever thoughtful, and as a consequence tends to alienate himself from the other boys at the school. His life, as is often the case with artists, is a lonely one. Through this separation, and deep thinking Stephen develops his own opinions and draws his own conclusions, which are often contrary to those that would be expected of a boy of his age, and in his situation. In particular, Stephen obviously sets himself apart in his views of literature. Toward the beginning of chapter two, Stephen gets into a debate with a couple of his classmates over who the best poet is. His schooling and culture would typically lead a boy like Stephen to choose a poet like Tennyson, whose style is upright and famously consistent with proper English standards of the time. His type of non-controversial writing would typically be taught in a conservative European school. Stephen goes against the grain by choosing Byron as the greatest poet. Byron has a much more patriotic and rebellious style, and is therefore scorned by the conservative culture Stephen grows up in. Stephen makes it clear that his choice is not based on the reputation of the artist himself, but on the actual beauty of his words. When one of the boys calls Byron a heretic, rather than contradicting the point, Stephen says, “I don’t care what he was!” He recognizes true beauty underneath all the riff raff. It is easier for Stephen to hold his own opinions because of his lifelong, self-imposed isolation. He is less influenced by standard opinions and views because he consciously separates himself from them. This separation is a gift for an artistic mind, but also a curse, as these non-traditional views tend to cause disagreements with others, no matter how hard one tries to alienate oneself. They will also lead Stephen to question, and be unsatisfied with many worldly things that most people take for granted.
ReplyDeleteReading this book is definitely stretching my comfort zone as to what I like to read. Personally, I prefer Bronte's structured and linear writing style. However, I love Joyce's descriptions. It's funny in a way how Joyce uses Stephen Dedalus as a vessel to completely let loose his creativeness. Portrait is definitely a different type of novel. Instead of being linear and well structured, it is loose and discombobulated; like the human mind. It is interesting to me how Joyce shows Stephen's growth as a person through his consciousness. By following Stephen's constant stream of thoughts you watch the human thought process develop differently in him. In his family you can see, especially at Christmas diner, how they focus on religion as a tool to gain political and social status in Ireland. Throughout the chapters, especially after the diner incident, you can see how Stephen pays particular attention to the religious aspects in his life and at school. His stream of consciousness continually goes towards sin and he finds examples of falling: Adam and Eve, Lucifer, priests, and himself. It has been very interesting to see this development apart from his peers. Stephen's peers are interesting in playing on the playground, while Stephen pays attention to describing the way the sound of the cricket bat sounds like water dripping slowly into a fountain.
ReplyDeleteThroughout the first three chapters of this book, Stephen is obviously going through many of the classic stages that we call ‘growing up’. I like the way Louisa put it, as an “emotional and physical roller coaster”. He is constantly swinging from one idea to the next and from one emotion to the next. There are many instances where he is hard to follow because the stream of consciousness type writing style makes time and place unclear.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most important motifs of this book so far for me has been the rising and falling as it relates to the Icharus and Daedulus story. Throughout the first three chapters this is referred to many times; especially in the third chapter. During the third chapter the boys are all listening to a rector speak about the stories in the bible, and many times mentions falling. Each of the characters he talks about ends up having some downfall, each directly called a ‘fall’.
Although I find this book hard to follow at times, I often feel as though I can relate to Stephen. Not the parts about the prostitutes and his massive identity crisis. But the way that he uses his senses to guide him through his life and by the way he lets his senses distract him. I tend to do this as well. Another instance where I find Stephen very relatable was during his stream of consciousness about God. As a child I had many different thoughts about God and I always wondered what was beyond our world, much like Stephen.
Overall, I have found the first three chapters of Portrait to be enriching and interesting, but at times very hard to follow.
Recently in class, we’ve been doing the quote thing, so I decided to set up my post in a similar fashion. I picked a quote from each chapter, and here are my thoughts. Also, the page numbers in which these quotes were found correspond to the brown book.
ReplyDeleteChapter 1, page 44: “A hot burning…scalded his throat.”
The fire motif seems to be reoccurring frequently in this story. Although Stephen is the typical awkward child, he definitely has a fire inside his soul, a lot like Jane Eyre does. The difference is Jane has channeled her inner flame into two desires, love and freedom. Stephen just frankly doesn’t know what he wants yet because he hasn’t experienced or been exposed to much in his life thus far. His character is naïve and vulnerable, which is demonstrated in the part of Chapter 1. The pandybat experience I think shocks Stephen in the sense that people in real life are treated unjustly is a common occurrence. He gets a first hand lesson on how life isn’t fair. It’s sort an eye opener for Stephen, much like the argument at Christmas dinner, and this quote shares Stephen’s inner thoughts.
The diction that Joyce uses is such a key element in this novel. He uses descriptive and hard hitting vocabulary in order to get Stephen’s melodramatic state of mind across to the reader. For example, (to tie this all back into my original statement about the fire motif) Joyce uses words associated with fire, for examples: “burning” “crack” “scalding” and the imagery of a leaf burning in a fire. Those words make me think …..ouch.
Chapter 2, page 88: “He had wandered…slumber of centuries.”
Once again, Joyce’s use of diction is so important for developing Stephen’s character. In this quote, Stephen in a way reminds me of a lost puppy. He is very confused and ends up in a dodgy, grimy part of town (which foreshadows what’s about to come in 4-5 paragraphs). Words like “maze” “foul” “hoarse” “trembling” “gasflames” emphasize the grotesque place and state of mind Stephen is in. Stephen is so lost that he just gives up on himself and has sex with a prostitute. Way to keep things classy, Stephen.
Chapter 3, page 127: "The muddy streets were gay...holy and happy."
It’s interesting to me how melodramatic and/or bipolar Stephen’s character is. A couple pages ago, Stephen was having a horrible dream about hell. He was wallowing in his sorrows and had a “woe is me” attitude. Now, Stephen had done a complete turnaround, he is happy and feels as though he has no weight hanging over his ahead. All because of a short little confession that he had with a priest. How and why do Stephen’s feelings change so drastically? Is this how Joyce acted since the story is loosely based upon his own life? Diction again plays a part in this quote, word choice: “gay” “grace” “holy” “peace”.
Adrian D.
ReplyDeleteI have to be honest, this book at the beginning of chapter one, throws the reader into an environment in which you don’t know exactly what’s going on and I initially didn’t like that. As I continued to read the book I discovered more and more that there is a method to Stephens madness. He, like many other protagonists in novels we’ve read this year, is a character who is looking to find out who he is; As Stephen thought or said “It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant and that he did not know where the universe ended. He felt small and weak”. This quote seems to foreshadow exactly what Stephen wants to do, understand his environment and his role in said environment. As the book progresses you are shown the way that Stephen does this (by relating himself and his personal morals to his environment, family, friends, etc. and then pushing that relationship to a point where it is unstable to see what his comfort level is exactly.) He’s curious just like every real person is, and that helps make him relatable (did you ever put your hand on a hot stove to figure out that it burned?).
Skip to the end of chapter 2 and we find Stephen having his first sexual encounter with a prostitute. How much more morally testing can you get? Stephen, in the moments leading up to and even during his sexual encounter, shows physically that he is going against everything he has been taught. He literally has to close his eyes and describes the prostitutes kiss as a “dark pressure”. It is obvious that Stephen is questioning inwardly about how women relate to him as an individual and what that says about his society and the fact that he gave up his virginity to test that shows the reader exactly how committed he is to identifying himself and his values.